Cultural Marxism

Dear BBC,

I, as a proud, self-registered member of "The Silent Majority", in this once great country, am getting increasingly alarmed by the preposterous levels of cultural and social Marxism displayed in your output. With certainty, I can tell you that I am losing a lot of sleep over it, and am becoming frightened to go out of my own home, because of it.
You, and many other PC, right-on do-gooders may get a cheap laugh out of these lefties, but not I; their antics are increasingly destroying the fabric of our society, and the BBC is busily engaged in emulating their ways, and trying to stain our culture with it.

Take Groucho, for instance, and his "witty" comebacks to his superiors, and all authority that stares him in the face; back in my day, we didn't make no cheeky retorts - we did what we were told. And that's the way it should be. Authority is unquestionable, yet Groucho, and all the other "right on" do-gooders that the BBC hire as "comedians" persist on defying this traditional, upstanding attitude. You can clearly see the effect this has on our feral youth of today, where they don't have the blindest bit of respect for authority, and, like Groucho, are making these "witty" retorts. It's just not on. A clip round the earhole would do these young shavers the world of good. Although we can't even do THAT nowadays, thanks to "yuman rights".

Chico, as well, and his Italian "gangster" accent; clearly glorifying the violent gangster culture, not to mention the rubbishing of our good, never changing English language. It's an absolute disgrace. The BBC are culprits of this as well, imbibing the attitudes of Chico. For starters, whenever there's yet another story about a feral yob vandalising property, or committing one crime or another, you won't even have the guts to call these young yobs for what they are; you'll always resort to something ridiculous, like, "restless young adult", or something else of a similar nature, radiating in sheer Political Correctness. As for the accents....don't get me started on THAT one; what on Earth, apart from even more Political Correctness, and the cultural undermining of our great English language, would be the reason for hiring people with bloody regional accents?! I'm routinely plagued with these new presenters, listening to them, and thinking to myself: Can't they pronounce ANYTHING right? This constant imbibing of Cultural Marxism is deeply disturbing, and the ordinary man on the street is becoming increasingly afraid to walk out on an evening, because of it.

Last and not least, there's Harpo; practical jokes aren't practical, or a joke. Let's be perfectly clear about that one. Slapstick has always promoted mass violence in our once great country, and is clearly a direct influence to the now named "happy slapping". (Only a Cultural Marxist would name this act "Happy", so even the name is a Cultural Marxist invention) Of course, back in my day, we didn't have no phones. We played football in the park. (Rugby, for us tougher, more macho folk) And again, the BBC wish to emulate this, by having their own slapstick comedians on, and airing shows, which use slapstick as humour. Our true, blue, British values are being eroded by the day, and the BBC is busily engaged in contributing to this erosion. Well, I, and many others are looking at this drastic downhill slope for our society, and must come to the conclusion that in 20 years, there won't be a Britain left, let alone a GREAT Britain. We urge you to ditch this Cultural Marxism immediately, before the effects of it are irreversible.

Yours faithfully,

Terry Shitehouse; a PROUD British.

The War Against Terrorism And Drugs (NEW DEVELOPMENT!)

Drugs and terrorists go together like chalk and cheese....er, I mean, like bricks and cement. Well, now there's a vital development that's been unearthed in how terrorists raise money for Weapons Of Mass Destruction, that have the revolutionary ability of vanishing. Yes. Vanishing. Vanishing before UN weapons inspectors' eyes. Vanishing. And you probably are raising money for these weapons in this country, as well. How so? You all buy this consumer product, which, in actuality, is nothing short of a DANGEROUS DRUG. Yes. DANGEROUS DRUG. Created by TERRORISTS, to fund these weapons. This DANGEROUS DRUG is subtly, but in actuality, causing the breakdown of our once great country, not to mention its VITAL role in the funding of terrorists, capable of sending a shower of nuclear missiles down on your city ANY MINUTE.

So, you might ask......what is this "DANGEROUS DRUG"?

.....

.....

That's right: TEA.

Tea is an evil drug, which has an evil substance in it, called caffeine, which is a stimulant; in other words, it can send you psychotic, as the Daily Mail wisely informs you, day in, day out.

This evil drug is brewed by terrorists, as their prime funding for not only Weapons Of Mass Destruction, but Weapons Of Mass Destruction, that can vanish at the users' will. Ha! Take that, smarmy UN weapons inspectors! George Bush told you lot, motherfuckers! That's why you should listen to him, you inept bastards!

Reports (That'll look convincing enough), have shown that the chief brewers of this evil drug, who are also high in the ranks of Al Qaeda, are: P.G. al-Tipsali, Abu Typhoojir and Mohammed Tetleyqir, and are situated in Iran. IRAN!!! Yes, you fucking milk coffee drinking, sandal wearing, yoghurt knitting, left-wing hippy liberals; EYE-fucking-RAN!!!!! It all fits in! Duuuur, any simpleton could now put the pieces together. Iran. Nuclear weapons project. (That those junkie UN officials keep denying) Funding via tea. All. Makes. Sense!

Not ONLY that, but according to a study, founded in a collaboration with the News Of The World, and the Taxpayers' Alliance, tea has other social effects on our once great country, now Broken Britain. Yes. Tea is the starting drug which leads to all other drugs. People start drinking tea, only to lead on to a path of other, BIGGER drugs, like cocaine and heroin. Tea is also brewed THREE times stronger than it was before, as well, being FAR more dangerous. Oh, yes. Not a problem for good drugs, like whiskey, as we ALL (Except feral youths), know to drink less whiskey, as it's stronger. But tea, no. Oh, no no no. Different kettle of fish, I say. Tea, when brewed stronger, is just infinitely and unconditionally worse.

Tea also leads to higher divorce rates; one in three tea drinkers have been divorced. Let's look back to thirty years ago, when Britain was a bit more greater: tea was also brewed three times weaker then, as we established. Only one in 10 tea drinkers thirty years ago, had been divorced. See the pattern!? The stronger the "brew" (As those bleeding northerners say), the higher the divorce rate! You couldn't make it up!

An alleged effect, also, is that tea keeps people awake longer, as per the stimulant effect. Meaning? Meaning, more feral youths are prone to staying awake longer, roaming around the streets later.....causing more terror and vandalism on the streets of our ONCE GREAT COUNTRY!

Yes, indeed; the effects that this DANGEROUS DRUG has on society is irrefutable. But let's look at the history of tea: how did this DANGEROUS DRUG get passed into British society?...

...

...Fuckin' immigrants. That's what. That's more than enough reason to make this drug a class A drug.

But back to the terror link....

Yes, these Brewers Of Mass Destruction, threatening jihad against the West, like all Mu, er, I mean, extremists, are brewing this DANGEROUS DRUG in Iran, before our very eyes. And Ahmadinejad is naturally in cahoots. (What the fuck did you expect!?)

The way, the only way, to rid ourselves of this DANGEROUS DRUG, and these Brewers Of Mass Destruction, is to invade Iran. Yes. Invade Iran. Hunt down these Brewers Of Mass Destruction, and end tea production in Iran IMMEDIATELY. Naturally, we'll have to implement measures to stop home-grown brewers. So, a coalition parliamentary plan, is to install a CCTV camera in EVERY UK kitchen. Yes. Every UK kitchen. Faaaaaacking 'ell, mate, if you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear, eh, eh, innit mate, innit!??! So why object!?!? Disagree with this war, and you're unpatriotic. No question about it. You're Anti-British TRAITORS. In fact, given the state of war, treason laws are being reactivated, to prosecute, and hang all opponents of this new war.

So...uhm, yeah, pour your tea down the sink, and dispose of all teabags, and kettles.

We Are All In This Together!

Tony Blair, being the slimy bastard that he is, changed Labour to New Labour. Now me and Snooty Dave are doing the same, from Conservatives, to Modern Conservatives....we're all in this together!

And by jingo, to make matters worse, Inheritance Tax is costing a small fraction of people in this country; namely, me and Snooty Dave, which we can't allow to be taxed to death over what we, er, I mean, our relatives earned via hard work.....we're all in this together!

The Age Of Irresponsibility......Gordon Brown had not far from fuck all of a legacy...and neither will we....we're all in this together!

MPs' expenses are made yesterday's news because Labour and Conser, er, I mean MODERN Conservatives talked about clearing it up, nothing came of it, and it's in the back of most people's minds....we're all in this together!

Not having a legacy, as mentioned before, we couldn't really make up new policies, so we had to regurgitate old limp policies and promises us MODERN Conservatives made back in 2007....we're all in this together!

Here's our theme song for the election campaign of the MODERN Conservatives....we're all in this together!

The Four Horsemen Of The Fuckupalypse: Talking Serious

*And whilst the top scientists and diplomats are discussing important issues like climate change, our favourite pseudo-intellectual quartet are discussing some highly important questions of the day*

Richard Dawkins: Now, ahem, gentlemen, I myself, as an avid lover of science and atheism, just in case you didn't know that of me already, ah heh heh, have came into this rather frequent, er, you know, retort, as it were, asking us if we, as atheists, could disprove the existence of God.

Christopher Hitchens: As I said in my up and coming book which can be previewed on Amazon and is available for purchase on November 16th 2009, entitled, "The Holy Spirit: Made A Hypocrite Out Of Me, So It Can Make A Hypocrite Out Of Anyone", *drinks whiskey*, which I will quote, if I may-

Daniel Dennett: No, you may not

Christopher Hitchens: Oh well who fucking cares about you? You're only here to replicate the physical appearance of our Lord Saviour, Charles Darwin. We may as well exhume the corpse of Charles Darwin, to get more value than you-

Richard Dawkins: Alright, alright, stop the bickering; whilst we're bickering, the worst thing could be happening, which is that yet another person could be converted to religion, which is the equivalent of 10 Little Boys going off at once, in terms of destruction. Now, Christopher...

Sam Harris: If I may-

Richard Dawkins: What the blast did I tell you before, young chap?! Keep it buttoned up unless you have something remotely interesting to say, which, even if you did, it still wouldn't be interesting, as it's being spoken by you. Now, if we may proceed; quote, by all means, Christopher...

Christopher Hitchens: Well, thank you Richard. It seems our friend Daniel here is fairly fond of theocratic madmen. But, if I may; in my up and coming, $15.99 book, available at November 16th 2009, "The Holy Spirit: Made A Hypocrite Out Of Me, So It Can Make A Hypocrite Out Of Anyone", I make it quite clear, that I have a particularly good eye for seeking out and spotting Spirits, especially if they're in my right hand, and let me tell you this, that if there is a Spirit branded as God, the last place you'd find it, is in that theocratic, raghead infested, blistering desert wasteland called, "The Middle East"; I've had many good conversations with my wise friend, Mr, George W. Bush on the subject of our shared secularist agendas, as well as the lack of Spirits in the Middle East, and now he really is a man who's fought long and hard against the invading ragheads from getting power, which is all too good in my book, or, rather, several books, also available on Amazon, for purchase, which you'll find by typing in my name in the Amazon search engine. Now, if I may, these influences can have wonderful effects, namely, my changing of my ridiculous beliefs in the past that ragheads were equal citizens, not to be bombed the fucking shit out of, to the beliefs that our wise leader of the free world, George Bush had, but a spirit that has divine power, and that is superior to me? You can..shove that right up your, anushole!

Richard Dawkins: This is a very interesting point that you raise, Christopher-

Christopher Hitchens: You expected less of me, than to make an excellent point?

Richard Dawkins: Oh no no no, dear boy, I never inferred such at all-

Christopher Hitchens: You'd be doing a blasted disservice to humanity if you ever did.

Richard Dawkins: *Sigh*, yes, yea-

Christopher Hitchens: By all means, have your freedom of speech thing, as I demonstrate with my constant shouting of "Fire!" in crowded buildings, a subject which I've also touched upon in my latest book, but let me tell you this now, and RIGHT NOW, I-

*Richard Dawkins punches Christopher Hitchens, knocking out Hitchens....not that he wasn't half unconscious before*

Richard Dawkins: Heavens that absolutely don't exist, Daniel, you were right; I shouldn't have let that buffoon quote from his book.

Daniel Dennett: I told you

Richard Dawkins: Yes, yes you did, old chap. Now, I-

Sam Harris: I-

Richard Dawkins: HUSH!

Daniel Dennett: Anyway, to answer your original question, Richard, if there was a Holy Spirit, capable of divine knowledge, A) It'd show itself, and B) Chrissy Hitchens down there unconscious on the floor, would have drank it by now, giving him the gift of divine knowledge..something he's very, VERY far from, at this rate!

Richard Dawkins: Chortle!

Christopher Hitchens: Uhhhhhh, aarrhhhhhh...*slobbers and groans in his sleep*

Daniel Dennett: Give him another punch to keep him quiet, Richard

Sam Harris: What I say, is tha-

Richard Dawkins: NO, NO NO!

Sam Harris: I'M SAYING IT ANYWAY! What I have to say, is that the objective nature of there being a God is below Lilliputian, which was proved by all naturalists and sceptics throughout the land, and

*Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennett fall asleep at the complete ineptitude of Sam Harris to say anything which isn't coma-inducing*

Sam Harris:..what I have to say on the matter, is that objective, rational, scientific thought will be promoted by us all, to be.....oh, what's the use, the fuckers are asleep. I'm going to take a joyride on one of our Atheist buses.

Christopher Hitchens: Ugghh, uhhhhhh, eahhh, uh, FIRE!......FIRE!.....FI-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *continues to snore deafeningly loud*

*Sam Harris leaves the room*

The Four Horsemen Of The Fuckupalypse

*The Four Horsemen, increasingly worried about the climate of the World, and religion's influence, have an in depth discussion...*

Richard Dawkins: Do you, you know, do you ever get the feel, like we're being viewed as, erm, you know, extreme atheists, and militant atheists? We seem to attract this, sort of, uhm, image about us, that we're, uhm, fundamentalists, almost.

Daniel Dennett: I get the accusation all the time, in my long extensive lectures about why religion should be wiped out with all human resources capable of doing so. What you have to realise, is that these damn religious Neanderthals, call everyone who they disagree with as being, "extreme". They're the extreme ones! They want to spread their beliefs globally!

Richard Dawkins: Jolly well right. But we have to portray ourselves differently, not to look like the generic pseudy, reactionary, boring old white men.

Sam Harris: Atheist rap?

Richard Dawkins: Oh no no no, dear boy. Like what I'm doing; starting an Atheist bus campaign, for which we tried to borrow some of Ken Livingstone's bendy hybrid buses, but he refused, on the basis of it being Islamophobic-

Christopher Hitchens: Arrant nonsense

Richard Dawkins: Quite, Christopher, and-

Christopher Hitchens: It's an absolute disgrace that we, I mean, you Brits have elected a theocratic, multiculturalist, raghead appeaser in as the mayor of your capital city. What next? Changing rooms for terrorists? You've had a fabulous history of defeating bloody foreigners trying to invade, and now this? THIS? AND Prince Charles, who's going to convert to Islam? No wonder us sensible, right-of thinking folk move out of there.

Richard Dawkins: That'll do, Christopher. Don't insult our traditions I-

Christopher Hitchens: I should jolly well think not. In that case, you shouldn't have elected a senile, Muslim apologist multiculturalist in as-

Richard Dawkins: Yes, yes, yes. Anyway, I say, we should have Atheist buses, Atheist churches, Atheist boy scouts, and even separate Atheist water fountains, which will, you know, reach out to people

Christopher Hitchens: I'd prefer whiskey fountains

Richard Dawkins: Yes, well, we'll resolve that one later. I don't think we should be distributing such influences, in case they have a bad effect

Sam Harris: Religion is the biggest drug of all!

Richard Dawkins: You said it, Sammy! Now, how are we going to secure the next healthy generation of young Atheists?

Daniel Dennett: Having intercouse?

Richard Dawkins: Now now, Daniel, as a scientist, I like to keep an open, sceptical mind, you know. Ah heh heh, that's how we came to Atheism, after all, but I'm not going to take on board impossible situations for the four of us. So we'll have to think up of something else.

Christopher Hitchens: I've been saying this since the very start, and if there was a start before that start, I'd be saying it then too. The Iraq War is absolutely justified, as a means to create a starting block on removing the world of religious influence, and significantly reducing the raghead population *drinks whiskey*. All the freedom that comes with dominated and imposed secularism and disbelief in God would only sought to be undermined by Islam, and, weapons of mass destruction, or not, which, Islam, in itself, is most certainly one *burp*, we should have invaded to seek control and control the country, to then downsize Muslim birthrates. Oh, you don't agree? Then try living in an Islamic theocracy. Try living in one of these repressive, third world, savage hellholes, where people are forced to be slaves, and are forced to pray five times a day, and even worse, the washing of your feet beforehand. I'll wash my own feet, when I fucking well want too, which happens to be never, for that matter, and if any theocratic shite of a Mullah tells me otherwise, then I'll write a special book, dedicating to criticising them for the bastards they are.

Richard Dawkins: Now now, Christopher, we're pondering the growth of young secularists; not the downsizing of religious populations. Daniel, you're a lecturer; what do you propose? Apart from intercourse.

Sam Harris: What about me-

Richard Dawkins: Nobody cares about you. You're too boring for inclusion into the discussion. Or flatten them cab door ears of yours, so people can actually take you seriously. Now, Daniel....

Daniel Dennett: The likelyhood of us boring old pretentious farts getting appeal of any kind is slim, Richard. Like an interfering crow, we'll just get told to fuck off if we conduct ourselves in our own manner, or else get shot.

Richard Dawkins: You really are marvellous with your crow comparisons, old chap

Next meeting with the Four Horsemen will commence, when, uhm, whenever.