*And whilst the top scientists and diplomats are discussing important issues like climate change, our favourite pseudo-intellectual quartet are discussing some highly important questions of the day*
Richard Dawkins: Now, ahem, gentlemen, I myself, as an avid lover of science and atheism, just in case you didn't know that of me already, ah heh heh, have came into this rather frequent, er, you know, retort, as it were, asking us if we, as atheists, could disprove the existence of God.
Christopher Hitchens: As I said in my up and coming book which can be previewed on Amazon and is available for purchase on November 16th 2009, entitled, "The Holy Spirit: Made A Hypocrite Out Of Me, So It Can Make A Hypocrite Out Of Anyone", *drinks whiskey*, which I will quote, if I may-
Daniel Dennett: No, you may not
Christopher Hitchens: Oh well who fucking cares about you? You're only here to replicate the physical appearance of our Lord Saviour, Charles Darwin. We may as well exhume the corpse of Charles Darwin, to get more value than you-
Richard Dawkins: Alright, alright, stop the bickering; whilst we're bickering, the worst thing could be happening, which is that yet another person could be converted to religion, which is the equivalent of 10 Little Boys going off at once, in terms of destruction. Now, Christopher...
Sam Harris: If I may-
Richard Dawkins: What the blast did I tell you before, young chap?! Keep it buttoned up unless you have something remotely interesting to say, which, even if you did, it still wouldn't be interesting, as it's being spoken by you. Now, if we may proceed; quote, by all means, Christopher...
Christopher Hitchens: Well, thank you Richard. It seems our friend Daniel here is fairly fond of theocratic madmen. But, if I may; in my up and coming, $15.99 book, available at November 16th 2009, "The Holy Spirit: Made A Hypocrite Out Of Me, So It Can Make A Hypocrite Out Of Anyone", I make it quite clear, that I have a particularly good eye for seeking out and spotting Spirits, especially if they're in my right hand, and let me tell you this, that if there is a Spirit branded as God, the last place you'd find it, is in that theocratic, raghead infested, blistering desert wasteland called, "The Middle East"; I've had many good conversations with my wise friend, Mr, George W. Bush on the subject of our shared secularist agendas, as well as the lack of Spirits in the Middle East, and now he really is a man who's fought long and hard against the invading ragheads from getting power, which is all too good in my book, or, rather, several books, also available on Amazon, for purchase, which you'll find by typing in my name in the Amazon search engine. Now, if I may, these influences can have wonderful effects, namely, my changing of my ridiculous beliefs in the past that ragheads were equal citizens, not to be bombed the fucking shit out of, to the beliefs that our wise leader of the free world, George Bush had, but a spirit that has divine power, and that is superior to me? You can..shove that right up your, anushole!
Richard Dawkins: This is a very interesting point that you raise, Christopher-
Christopher Hitchens: You expected less of me, than to make an excellent point?
Richard Dawkins: Oh no no no, dear boy, I never inferred such at all-
Christopher Hitchens: You'd be doing a blasted disservice to humanity if you ever did.
Richard Dawkins: *Sigh*, yes, yea-
Christopher Hitchens: By all means, have your freedom of speech thing, as I demonstrate with my constant shouting of "Fire!" in crowded buildings, a subject which I've also touched upon in my latest book, but let me tell you this now, and RIGHT NOW, I-
*Richard Dawkins punches Christopher Hitchens, knocking out Hitchens....not that he wasn't half unconscious before*
Richard Dawkins: Heavens that absolutely don't exist, Daniel, you were right; I shouldn't have let that buffoon quote from his book.
Daniel Dennett: I told you
Richard Dawkins: Yes, yes you did, old chap. Now, I-
Sam Harris: I-
Richard Dawkins: HUSH!
Daniel Dennett: Anyway, to answer your original question, Richard, if there was a Holy Spirit, capable of divine knowledge, A) It'd show itself, and B) Chrissy Hitchens down there unconscious on the floor, would have drank it by now, giving him the gift of divine knowledge..something he's very, VERY far from, at this rate!
Richard Dawkins: Chortle!
Christopher Hitchens: Uhhhhhh, aarrhhhhhh...*slobbers and groans in his sleep*
Daniel Dennett: Give him another punch to keep him quiet, Richard
Sam Harris: What I say, is tha-
Richard Dawkins: NO, NO NO!
Sam Harris: I'M SAYING IT ANYWAY! What I have to say, is that the objective nature of there being a God is below Lilliputian, which was proved by all naturalists and sceptics throughout the land, and
*Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennett fall asleep at the complete ineptitude of Sam Harris to say anything which isn't coma-inducing*
Sam Harris:..what I have to say on the matter, is that objective, rational, scientific thought will be promoted by us all, to be.....oh, what's the use, the fuckers are asleep. I'm going to take a joyride on one of our Atheist buses.
Christopher Hitchens: Ugghh, uhhhhhh, eahhh, uh, FIRE!......FIRE!.....FI-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *continues to snore deafeningly loud*
*Sam Harris leaves the room*
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