The War Against Terrorism And Drugs (NEW DEVELOPMENT!)

Drugs and terrorists go together like chalk and cheese....er, I mean, like bricks and cement. Well, now there's a vital development that's been unearthed in how terrorists raise money for Weapons Of Mass Destruction, that have the revolutionary ability of vanishing. Yes. Vanishing. Vanishing before UN weapons inspectors' eyes. Vanishing. And you probably are raising money for these weapons in this country, as well. How so? You all buy this consumer product, which, in actuality, is nothing short of a DANGEROUS DRUG. Yes. DANGEROUS DRUG. Created by TERRORISTS, to fund these weapons. This DANGEROUS DRUG is subtly, but in actuality, causing the breakdown of our once great country, not to mention its VITAL role in the funding of terrorists, capable of sending a shower of nuclear missiles down on your city ANY MINUTE.

So, you might ask......what is this "DANGEROUS DRUG"?

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That's right: TEA.

Tea is an evil drug, which has an evil substance in it, called caffeine, which is a stimulant; in other words, it can send you psychotic, as the Daily Mail wisely informs you, day in, day out.

This evil drug is brewed by terrorists, as their prime funding for not only Weapons Of Mass Destruction, but Weapons Of Mass Destruction, that can vanish at the users' will. Ha! Take that, smarmy UN weapons inspectors! George Bush told you lot, motherfuckers! That's why you should listen to him, you inept bastards!

Reports (That'll look convincing enough), have shown that the chief brewers of this evil drug, who are also high in the ranks of Al Qaeda, are: P.G. al-Tipsali, Abu Typhoojir and Mohammed Tetleyqir, and are situated in Iran. IRAN!!! Yes, you fucking milk coffee drinking, sandal wearing, yoghurt knitting, left-wing hippy liberals; EYE-fucking-RAN!!!!! It all fits in! Duuuur, any simpleton could now put the pieces together. Iran. Nuclear weapons project. (That those junkie UN officials keep denying) Funding via tea. All. Makes. Sense!

Not ONLY that, but according to a study, founded in a collaboration with the News Of The World, and the Taxpayers' Alliance, tea has other social effects on our once great country, now Broken Britain. Yes. Tea is the starting drug which leads to all other drugs. People start drinking tea, only to lead on to a path of other, BIGGER drugs, like cocaine and heroin. Tea is also brewed THREE times stronger than it was before, as well, being FAR more dangerous. Oh, yes. Not a problem for good drugs, like whiskey, as we ALL (Except feral youths), know to drink less whiskey, as it's stronger. But tea, no. Oh, no no no. Different kettle of fish, I say. Tea, when brewed stronger, is just infinitely and unconditionally worse.

Tea also leads to higher divorce rates; one in three tea drinkers have been divorced. Let's look back to thirty years ago, when Britain was a bit more greater: tea was also brewed three times weaker then, as we established. Only one in 10 tea drinkers thirty years ago, had been divorced. See the pattern!? The stronger the "brew" (As those bleeding northerners say), the higher the divorce rate! You couldn't make it up!

An alleged effect, also, is that tea keeps people awake longer, as per the stimulant effect. Meaning? Meaning, more feral youths are prone to staying awake longer, roaming around the streets later.....causing more terror and vandalism on the streets of our ONCE GREAT COUNTRY!

Yes, indeed; the effects that this DANGEROUS DRUG has on society is irrefutable. But let's look at the history of tea: how did this DANGEROUS DRUG get passed into British society?...

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...Fuckin' immigrants. That's what. That's more than enough reason to make this drug a class A drug.

But back to the terror link....

Yes, these Brewers Of Mass Destruction, threatening jihad against the West, like all Mu, er, I mean, extremists, are brewing this DANGEROUS DRUG in Iran, before our very eyes. And Ahmadinejad is naturally in cahoots. (What the fuck did you expect!?)

The way, the only way, to rid ourselves of this DANGEROUS DRUG, and these Brewers Of Mass Destruction, is to invade Iran. Yes. Invade Iran. Hunt down these Brewers Of Mass Destruction, and end tea production in Iran IMMEDIATELY. Naturally, we'll have to implement measures to stop home-grown brewers. So, a coalition parliamentary plan, is to install a CCTV camera in EVERY UK kitchen. Yes. Every UK kitchen. Faaaaaacking 'ell, mate, if you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear, eh, eh, innit mate, innit!??! So why object!?!? Disagree with this war, and you're unpatriotic. No question about it. You're Anti-British TRAITORS. In fact, given the state of war, treason laws are being reactivated, to prosecute, and hang all opponents of this new war.

So...uhm, yeah, pour your tea down the sink, and dispose of all teabags, and kettles.